Best of the Bay 2004, San Francisco Bay Guardian

Best Bar to Clown on Long Island
You don't have to be from New York City to have a superiority complex toward the isle of suburban mall outlets and seagulls, nor should a cosmopolitan city dweller like yourself be forced to imbibe something named in honor of it. Instead, drink to that bleak eyesore we call a "beach" at the Elbo Room, where the sweet Ocean Beach Iced Teas are likely to make you forget all about Long Island, crappy San Francisco beaches, and, well, just about everything else. While the bartenders tend to prepare these particular beverages with a kick so strong that one might be the magic number, the Elbo Room also considerately boasts the longest happy hour in the city, 5 to 9 p.m. nightly — ample opportunity to toast our fine city and be grateful you don't live in that other one. 647 Valencia, S.F. (415) 552-7788.

Best Place to Hit On Matt Gonzalez
It's hard to find articulate, good-looking, ambitious, mysterious Ivy League men who are passionate about social justice and local politics, isn't it? Well, there's at least one in the city, and you might be able to find him haunting his neighborhood bar, Place Pigalle. The Matrix Fillmore this is not — where else would you find a humble and low-key guy than at a humble and low-key bar? The laid-back atmosphere, good music, and sparse candlelight in this beer-and-wine spot provide the perfect ambience for seduction. Plush couches in the front and back rooms conveniently allow patrons to get, ahem, more comfortable with each other. If opening lines about Gavin, eye contact, and all else fail, grab the peroxide: we've spotted him there chatting up a blond. 520 Hayes, S.F. (415) 552-2671.

Best Place to Meet the Social Justice Activist of Your Dreams
To find true love, forget eDating.com and work on a local, state, or national political campaign. These offices are teeming with new activists, especially young ones, and they're always looking for more help. Check out the presidential campaign, voter drives, and local ballot measures this fall when the get-out-the-vote efforts kick into high gear. Meet smart, passionate, and similarly minded folks at any number of campaign events — you and your politico will always have something in common. Chat up the cutie phone-banking next to you and get those digits. Get sweaty together while precinct-walking in the hills of San Francisco. Cap off your efforts by drunkenly partying with your love interest at the victory party. Get active, get motivated, and possibly get laid in the process.